About the So-Called "Rivalry"

Now my slouch is nervous, sinking by the face.

I don't even think there is a "Kaoru vs. Tomoe" in the first place.

Kenshin wouldn't be Kenshin if he hadn't met Tomoe. She gave him hope, and with her help, he realized he could go on when he was drowning in self-hatred. She loved him so much that she gave her life so he could have a second chance.

I believe that if you love somebody, you want this person to be one of the happiest persons on earth, as it makes you happy in return. Tomoe loved Kenshin, she wanted him to be happy. If I see that persons I care about are unhappy, it makes me sad. So if Tomoe knows that Kenshin found happiness with Kaoru, it should make her happy, shouldn't it? Tomoe tells Kenshin in his dreams that he should go to Kaoru, even her afterimage in Enishi's mind lets Enishi spare Kenshin's life.

The most stupid argument of all is that Tomoe is supposedly better than Kaoru because Kaoru didn't die for Kenshin. Excuse me? First of all, Kenshin and Kaoru never came in a situation in which she could have died for him, secondly, it is shown in so many ways that Kaoru loves Kenshin. For example, when Jinei kidnaps Kaoru in order to make Kenshin fight him. Jinei put that hypnotic spell on her, and she couldn't breathe anymore, she was going to die. She couldn't break the spell with her will to live, she was only powerful enough to free herself when Kenshin turned to Battousai and was ready to kill Jinei. She was able to reach him, wake Kenshin. She only had that power because she knew that Kenshin would never be happy again if he turned back to Battousai, if he killed again. She didn't want to lose Kenshin. Isn't that love?

Kaoru and Tomoe are two girls from different backgrounds, with different personalities, abilities and attributes. I don't think that anyone has the right to judge over whose love is "bigger" or "more honest". Love is love. They are two women who had their reasons to love Kenshin, and found happiness, even if it was only for short times. They are individuals who should be treated as such, and those useless debates over whom of them deserves Kenshin more are degrading them to objects. (I'm a spokeswoman of Manga Character Amnesty International, you know.)

Tomoe hater "argument" no. 1: Kaoru is much prettier than Tomoe.
It is subjective if you find that Kaoru is prettier than Tomoe, in the best way this saying can even be applied to stylized drawn characters. Of course Tomoe is not pretty as Kaoru - Kaoru is pretty as Kaoru and Tomoe is pretty as Tomoe. You can't really compare them. They aren't alike in any way. Just because they have the same hair and eye colour, it doesn't mean their appearances are alike enough to be comparable. Secondly, looks shouldn't matter if you think about whether you like a character.

Tomoe hater "argument" no. 2: Tomoe is not able to fight like Kaoru is.
You can't say a character sucks because (s)he can't fight. It's just the same as if I would say Tomoe is better than Kaoru because she can cook, a quality Kaoru doesn't have.
During Edo period (1603 - 1867), it was common to educate women in a way to be good housewives, and they weren't considered worth the same as men. Tomoe came from a samurai family. There hadn't been any wars for 300 years and people said the samurai were only a weak shadow of their ancestors. Tomoe had a little brother - Enishi. If you had a son in that time, it was clear that you would train him as your heir, and not the girl.
Kaoru had no siblings. She had no brother who could have been an heir, and surely her father had a different personality than Tomoe's father. We don't know Kaoru's father, but what we know is that he didn't make that much a difference between women and men that he didn't teach his daughter. Nobody knows how Tomoe's father was, except for the author, and maybe he doesn't either simply because he might have never thought about it. It's not essential to the story.

Tomoe hater "argument" no. 3: Tomoe is, unlike Kaoru, emotionless, cold, mean etc. She doesn't have a personality, she acts like a zombie.
If you want my opinion on this, head over to my thoughts on Enishi's and Tomoe's relationship.